I’m surprised. When I wrote about coping with the hard times in life I felt a little guilty. I added the caption “not always, certainly…” to a snap I took of my “Life is good” mug, challenging their ever positive way of thinking, which I normally pretty much buy into. That’s why I have the mug.
I remember listening to my favorite priest when the boys were growing up. Father Jack was admonishing us, telling us emphatically that an older, blind gentleman with a pretty, white seeing eye dog came in and sat in the front row every morning for the 7a.m. Mass. The man was very grateful, and cheerful, and we with all of our sight, were supposed to emulate him. We were to put our feet that we were so lucky to have on the floor every morning, use our legs that we were so lucky to get out of bed with, and begin our day of hearing with our ears, seeing with our eyes, and speaking with our voices. We were to be grateful every morning!
Well I do emulate this gentleman. And of course I am grateful. And I try not to get pulled into the dark side. But then, there’s reality. And somehow I feel a little relief by letting myself admit that life can suck sometimes, and sometimes it can suck greatly. And that’s okay, because that’s just how it is, and how it goes. What feels like the really great part is knowing when you’re in the great part. I tell my husband to “Be Zen” at these times. Better appreciate them. (sing-song now, from the cartoon movie about dinosaurs, “Weee’rre ba-a-a-ck)…. “They’re hee-ere”.
To me, it feels like a cycle. I hang out with six very cool women, and have for more than twenty-three years now. I notice that a couple of us are up, in really good places, while at the same time one or two of us are in really low, pretty lousy places, and the rest of us make up the middle ground. And it all changes around as to who is where when. We’ve been hanging out long enough to see cycles.
If I stop and acknowledge when I am in a rough cycle and try to relax in it, bummer though it is, instead of panicking my way through, it goes better. Anthony deMello was a Catholic Jesuit Priest (1936-1987) who was raised in India, but spent most of his career here in the United States. He was also a psychotherapist. He is of the same order, Jesuit, as Pope Francis. I don’t know any of the details about what is rumored to be his excommunication from the Catholic Church after he died, but it is said that he began teaching some of the philosophies of the eastern religions, considered out of synch with Catholic teachings. I find his writings interesting. If you want to take a peek you might check out his “Awareness Articles” on The deMello Spirituality Center website.
Anthony deMello’s brutal honesty about life shook me up when I started reading his stuff. Right now I am remembering what he said about feeling depressed. He said (super paraphrasing here) that we all go through it sometimes, and to acknowledge it, and just be with it, and that eventually it will pass. I took that to mean don’t go getting all panicky about hard times, or about feeling down. Someone said to me once to “find joy within my pain”. I wasn’t sure how to do that. But now I take the approach of, okay, life isn’t great, it isn’t what I would choose, but here I am. I’ll entertain myself with whatever helps me feel good (the joy). I will not spend time in my mind either questioning why I feel this way, or fighting to change it. No use saying “Why me?” Why me? Because it’s my turn. Life’s a cycle, and sometimes I’m not in the good part. Things will naturally change again. They always do.
Somebody Else's Wisdom 